The missed breakfast

Today I discovered how satisfying it is to drill holes through books. I learnt not to try un wire a plug and all the other fittings without first checking that the wire will fit through the hole made in said books. (Waste of time) I learnt how to make a  lace bow head band. That was a success. And because I was having so much fun I painted a plant pot and stuck a face on it.

The red nose reindeer

One morning I was surfing the Internet on my pretend surf board and discovered a lovely little idea for making festive biscuits. So, inspired I went upstairs to my craft room, got out my pens and paper and scanned in my drawing. Back downstairs again I went to the kitchen with my printed antlers image ready for baking the reindeer faces to sit on. Genius. I had so much fun dancing around, mixing and weighing ingredients, I almost covered my kitchen floor with flour, and decided to stick icing sugar eyes on everything. 

The lampshade

I recently attempted to make my first fabric lampshade using instructions from the Internet and some of my own common sense. Turns out its a lot more difficult than it looks in the pictures. I also realised I was trying to run before I could walk. 

The shell of my failed attempt and the trimmings I salvaged all ended up in the bin. A month or so passed and I tried again. This time with a simpler design; and the fear that I could potentially destroy some of my precious dinosaur material in the process must have contributed to my success. Win. 

The App Store

I don't like computers or technology or Internet or USB sticks and I don't know how to download things or upload things or change formats la la blah. And printers are irritating and I can just about scan a document. 

I do however like pencils and crayons and scissors and glue and lined paper. And a new app called Tayasui Sketches. I am enjoying playing around with the clean simple features this app offers. 

The Friday morning

I spent some time today sewing pouches for mobile telephones. Once I had finished making a few to document and upload, I chose the location for the photographs making sure the light was sufficient, pleasing background etc and slipped my iPhone 5 partly inside the pouch to demonstrate what exactly they were for. Only then I realised, what was I going to take the photo with??. Silly me. So yeah, these pouches are for iPhones or phones of a similar size. 

The hot water bottle

Today whilst in the process of putting together a cute hot water bottle cover I managed to burn myself three times on the iron IN THE SAME PLACE (shame on me) and sew a zip incorrectly for the first time in about two years. If you ever find yourself having an "off" day, my advice is walk away at the first fail. You will probably end up setting fire to your house. That or end up on the kitchen floor sat in a puddle of your tears. 

The train line

I recently discovered how difficult it is to draw detailed pencil images whilst travelling on a high speed train. That difficult, I dashed my 4H pencil down the aisle and slammed the broken food tray thingy back up in frustration. 

The little bear

Once upon a time there lived a little bear called Panda. He wasn't very good at thermo regulating and always felt the bitter sting of winter. He could see his breath when he breathed in his house. So one morning he decided to go shopping for something to help keep him warm. He was incredibly fashion conscious and always liked to look his best. He decided on a lovely wooly hat and a smart blue shirt from a nice big shop with bright lights. Now he looked fabulous AND retained a little bit of his body heat. Happy warm Panda. The end. 

The Sunday afternoon

So, I have had an entire Sunday to do some amazing craft time inventions and what have I done? ..sat there and stared into space, smoked out my entire house attempting to make bonfire toffee and got incredibly angry at coming third place on Nintendo Mario cart double dash. It's now 7pm and I have had the incredibly smart idea to steal somebody else's smart idea of making "inspiration dice". That way I can do less thinking and more making and not waste the next Sunday I have off work. 

All I need to do now is wait for my clay dice to dry, paint them pretty, label them and get "randomised" crafting. 

The purple and green problem

Neon Genesis Evangelion is a Japanese science-fantasy animation series. A friend asked me a long time ago to make him a chair that was based on a giant bio-machine called an Eva that features in the anime. Okay, I said. I'm not afraid of a geeky challenge but when he told me the two colours of the Eva unit were purple and green I started to regret saying yes. I had no idea how I was going to attempt to make a purple and green chair beautiful. I still have no idea And I've almost finished this project. 

   The unit 

    The sketch 

   The chair (so far) 

The plan

Today I did some simple calculations. If I made and sold a Christmas card everyday until December 25 I would almost have enough money to buy the people I love a modest gift. 

£3 per card X 61 days till Christmas 

- 20 % commission 

= £146.40 

Sorted. 

The fish tank

Once upon a time, (less than a week ago), there was a little common goldfish called klaus. He lived with many other little fish that looked just like him but he didn't like any of them. He just pretended. One day a big giant net came and hoisted him out of the big tank of water and placed him in a little bag of water, just a puddle really. And then everything went dark. Not long after the light returned and he found himself living in a lovely new big glass house. Klaus was surrounded by fake trees and plastic ornaments. The floor was made up of so many pebbles with so many different colours he had difficulty counting them all. As luck would have it Klaus had only one other fish living with him in his new house. They didn't talk much or swim around together but it was nice to know he wasn't alone.  A massive stream of water would push Klaus around in the water if he swam too close to the top, but of course he always forget this because he had trouble remembering things. All in all Klaus liked his new house. What he did find rather unusual though was the giant girl that spent hours sitting at the big blue table across the room constantly cutting up pieces of unusually shaped fabric and putting them back together again. The machine that helped her with this process made an awfully frightful noise but with time Klaus realised the girl and the machine were no threat to him. Occasionally she would press her face to the glass and smile and place some nice dinner into the glass house through the roof and then wander off and that would be it. Klaus liked his new life. The end. 

The Hour

I have to wake up incredibly early for work tomorrow but my body refuses to go to sleep before a certain time. I had an hour to kill so I decided to spend that time doing some sketching. I used my good old 5B pencil and some mono printing. 

The scrap heap revisited

So. A few years have passed and I am still making curious little stuffed squares and triangles with faces on them and toys resembling animals. What has changed is the way I am documenting them. Instead of just placing them on a chair, taking a photo and calling it a day I am trying to add context. It would make no sense to depict a cup cake flying through the clouds in a hot air balloon basket just for the thrills, a kitchen work top will do just fine for that photograph. But seeing as I am a grown up without children of my own, drawing a little house with chalk and placing said scrap animal inside the drawing of the house would make sense for the photograph of a child's toy in context. 

 

P.s I would like to retract my earlier statement about Hot air balloons. This would be an excellent way to document cake. 

The food colouring

So, halloween is approaching and curious as ever, I wondered what would happen if I emptied an entire bottle of black food colouring into a Victoria sponge cake mix. Obviously I knew the cake would turn out some shade of dark. But is it possible to find black cake not only visually pleasing but edible? Answer. No. And to further the level of grossness I mixed a gloriously grotesque shade of orange into butter icing and slapped it on top of the cakes. Wow. 

The vacation

So, last night I drank an entire bottle of champagne (minus one glass) to celebrate having a week off work. I woke up (not to the sound of an iphone xylophone) but various street noises at roughly 11am. (I have not slept past 7am in about a month.) I then sat on my kitchen floor and watched my chocolate chip brioche toast under the grill whilst I sipped my coffee. I decided I was going to have a productive day so set about planning the various bits and bobs I wanted to do. Firstly, I ignored the pile of dishes, and like a good wife washed a mountain of clothes instead. Next, I collected squares of fabric from my craft room and ironed them into a nice little bundle so my friend could experiment on her new sewing machine. Then I drew space invaders all over my shower door whilst I was doing bath time. (Like you do.) Then I made a cake fork pouch my mother had requested as a gift for a friend. Then I made a giant piece of "paper" with calico and sewed an extract from the story I am writing (complete with illustration) all the while raiding my fridge of pickles and yoghurts and listening to caravan palace songs and dancing round my house in intervals. Then I cleaned up my mess, had some dinner, read my book and now its the end of my first vacation day. 

The Scarecrow

Whilst methodically upholstering a footstool, I realised I was undoing the handy work of another person before me. I started to notice similarities in the avoidance of the arduous tasks of un upholstering. This person hadn't removed the staples that held the fabric in place but simply cut it out from the base structure. When putting the new fabric cover back on they had used staples for half the edges and little black tacks for the others. As I worked my way deeper to the core of this little old footstool I found myself making new discoveries. I became tremendously excited upon realising the stool was stuffed with straw.